What’s your communication style?

There are three types of reaction styles; you are either a thinker, a feeler or a doer. Although all three of these traits are present in your personality at one time or another, one of them comes naturally, whilst the other two are occasionally put to use depending on the situation.

It can be useful for you to be able to recognize your own communication style, not only because it tells you how you communicate, but also as it tells you how you expect others to communicate with you. You can also gain information about how to identify these traits in your loved ones or those you work with to realise the positive effects of understanding this information to your relationships in all areas of your life.

Your reaction style reveals the spontaneous way you react in a sudden situation. It also reveals your common way of communicating with others. It is usually easy to notice the reaction style of others, but harder when it comes to finding your own. A good way to start working out your reaction style is to eliminate one of the three from the equation. This can be a fairly simple process, as it is often easy to notice which style you use least when you communicate.

Use this exercise to find out what your communication style is:

How would you respond in this situation: You are at the dinner table with a friend, when you suddenly hear a big bang, causing the plates to move and clatter.

Is your first concern what happened and where the noise came from?

Do you shout or express another type of strong reaction?

Do you immediately rise from your place?

The first reaction is typical for a thinker, the second most common for a feeler and the third for a doer. A thinker reflects as many questions pop into their mind.

A feeler reacts with some sort of noticeable emotion, either by getting upset or surprised.

A doer reacts physically and directly, either by standing up or by trying to solve the situation fast, i.e. picking up the phone to call an emergency number or to evacuate everyone from the restaurant.

Communication style 1: A Thinker

A thinker reacts with reflections, words and questions. Because words are the tools of a thinker, they tend to react more slowly than a feeler or a doer. A thinker can be recognized from the detailed way they communicate and make their decisions from their head, and sometimes they can seem lost in their thoughts. Below a list of a typical thinker:

• Discussion based, analytical, logical thought process
• Calm, thorough
• Detailed, fact-based
• First reaction is to ponder or ask questions

Communication style 2: A Feeler

The reactions of a feeler are usually strong and colourful. They are people orientated, social and spontaneous, perceiving information through pictures, feelings, and impressions. Typical traits include expressing with gestures and reacting sensitively in many situations. Here some clues as to how you can recognize a feeler:

• Spontaneous, sensitive, emotional
• Expressive, colourful
• Descriptive expressions, people come first
• The reaction shows emotions

Communication style 3: A Doer

A doer reacts with movement, they are energetic, fast and want to get things underway. Staying put is hard and they prefer to walk as they talk. For a doer, learning is achieved by doing. A person that is a doer communicates very briefly and wants to be on the go. Here some typical traits:

• Fast, energetic, active
• Physical, coordinated
• Brief comments, always on the move

It is good to keep in mind that your own reaction style is never the only one within a given situation. Thinkers, feelers and doers are equally as common, however you may notice an emphasis on one over the others depending on the workplace or field of work.