23 exercises for more self-confidence

It is astonishing to realise that we each possess skills and abilities that nobody else possesses quite like we do. We are each gifted with unique strengths and talents, whether this is a talent for display on the world stage as an outstanding performer, or on a small stage as someone who makes a difference to just a few other people.

It is up to us to decide in our lives just how we are to make the most of what we have and bring our potential to fruition. In this journey to self-realisation, there are many keys to finding the ‘real you’. You can start by trying the following techniques to improve your self-confidence and assertiveness. Good luck!

1. This is me

Instructions: Imagine that you have taken out a full page in a newspaper to tell the world about you, as if you were a product or brand. Use this worksheet to jot down what you would say, the pictures you would use, the skills you have, the life you’ve led and are currently leading.

How confident are you?

Instructions: Complete the 5 sentences below, each in different ways. Then rate yourself against your descriptions.

• A confident person is someone who…
• A confident person is someone who…
• A confident person is someone who…
• A confident person is someone who…
• A confident person is someone who…

2. I feel confident

Instructions: Review some of your relationships when you feel less confident than you would like to be. Give examples of situations or relationships when you feel confident or not (“I’m OK” or “I’m not OK”) and when others appear confident or not (“You’re OK” or “You’re not OK”).

Describe occasions when you feel less than confident:

• A.) Give an example of an “I’m OK, you’re not OK” exchange
• B.) Give an example of an “I’m OK, you’re OK” exchange
• C.) Give an example of an “I’m not OK, you’re not OK” exchange
• D.) Give an example of an “I’m not OK, you’re OK” exchange

3. The things I say to myself

Instructions: Write down a negative self-talk script that you sometimes use.  Then write down an assertive self-talk script showing how self-talk can create high self-esteem and the behaviours you want.

Negative self-talk:

• An unwanted belief you have about yourself (e.g. I’m shy)
• When you perceive it (e.g. at social gatherings)
•  The biofeedback (e.g. feeling nervous)

Assertive self-talk:

• A wanted belief you have about yourself (e.g. I like meeting others)
•  When you perceive it (e.g. at social gatherings)
• The biofeedback (e.g. interested in others)

4. Applications of assertiveness

Instructions: Look at the five situations described below. Write down how you would respond and what you might say using assertiveness.

• You give a customer presentation. The customers’ MD pays you effusive compliments in front of your team.
• After you give a presentation to customers, you overhear two members of the audience say the product is overpriced.
• A member of your team criticises you at a staff meeting for being slow on your part of a joint project.
• Your partner rings to say he/she has booked a weekend break for both of you, but you have already made other plans.
•  The boss walks in and wants to know which “idiot” broke the photocopier. You know that the machine recently broke down while you were on it, but you had no time to report it.

5. Under Pressure

Instructions: There are 3 confident ways to stand firm against someone who is putting pressure on you, trying to put you down or not wanting to listen to you.  These are: asking for time; fogging; and broken record. Try them out in the three situations below.

1.)  Asking for time

Boss (late Friday afternoon): “Oh, and while we’re at it, can I have that report on my desk by Monday morning and no mistake!”

You (with no spare time): …

2.)  Fogging

Colleague (towards you, Simpson’s account manager):

“Looks like we lost Simpson’s business again.  That’s three weeks in a row.  The old man won’t be pleased.”

You: …

3.)  Broken Record

Employee (Being counseled by you for being late):

“But I’m not the only one. What about the others who are always late? Why pick on me?

You: …

If you would like to further improve your self-confidence then “The “Managing You” Workbook” written by Eric Garner is the right book for you. Download it right here!