Confidence comes in all shapes and sizes. Everyone has a different interpretation of what it feels and looks like, depending on their personality.
The most dominant and prevalent interpretation of confidence is still based on how loud and outgoing you are. For those who are more introverted and reserved, this is unfortunate.
I want to share another type of confidence. One that fits my introverted personality and has led me to be who I am today. And that is Quiet Confidence.
Quiet confidence is the inner belief and certainty about one’s abilities, worth, and values.
I can now centre myself on this belief and go about my work and life knowing that I am capable and that there is no need to prove myself to anyone.
What a powerful feeling.
I’ve managed to build up my confidence to the point where I am unapologetically proud of who I am. To confidently know that I don’t need to be the first person to speak or the most or the loudest. Knowing and seeing that a single sentence can be powerful when combined with value and the belief that I am capable.
I created a space for myself and stepped into it with total, unapologetic authority. Quietly commanding attention and respect. I’m living proof that a shy, sensitive, reserved, introverted person can exude confidence, be seen, be heard, and be respected by others.
My mentor prompted me on this journey in the early days of my career. He noticed my struggles and insecurities. He sat me down and told me, “It’s okay if you are not the loudest in the room.” You don’t need to be loud to command attention or to show you’re capable and confident. There are many other ways.
Figure out what ways work for you without sacrificing yourself.
Here are three key things to consider as you discover your version of confidence:
Speak to add value
I must add this as the first. We are often told to speak up. It can often be mistranslated to say anything is better than nothing. That is not it. Only speak when your point adds to the conversation. You do this by asking questions. Whether it is to refocus the discussion, to bring in another perspective, to share your own perspective, to emphasise or reiterate a point, etc. Don’t ever feel you need to speak just for the sake of it. Take that pressure off yourself. A valuable insight, perspective or question is more memorable than sharing 10 filler statements.
Know and play to your strengths
To be confident, you need to know with certainty what you’re good at and be able to play to it. But only for the things you’re actually excited and energised by. Just because you’re good with numbers doesn’t mean you need to work in a numbers-related profession if you hate it. Playing to your strengths should leave you with more energy, not less. There’s also no need to be modest and reserved about what you are good at. Seek out opportunities to utilise it as much as possible. It adds value to other people’s work and is also a confidence booster for yourself.
Embrace your challenges
Lastly, it is equally important to acknowledge and accept your challenges. You don’t need to be a superhero and be good at everything. No one is perfect. Be courageous enough to embrace your weakness and ask for help. Also, you don’t need to improve all of your weaknesses. It could also be as simple as surrounding yourself with people who understand and can help you with what you struggle with. But to do that, you first must embrace it, be okay with feeling vulnerable and ask anyway.
