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Building Bridges Across Cultural Differences

Why Don’t I Follow Your Norms?

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Lingua :  English
This book discusses differences in cultural values and norms. Why do we feel challenged when interacting with culturally different people, and how can we improve the outcomes of such interactions?
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Have you ever been in the company of people from another country and wondered “Why to they do that?” – “that” being anything from the way they greet each other to public policies we find highly exotic?

“Building Bridges across Cultural Differences” looks at foundations for these differences because in all human relationships, if we can find a satisfying answer to these “Whys”, we are much more likely to connect with people who at first glance seemed somewhat unpredictable.

Exploring values, history, and the ways societies are organized, the book touches on themes where people from very different backgrounds often disconnect. To make it easier to gain trust in people who don’t behave the way we are used to, the book goes deeper into differences in communication patterns. Even when you speak the same language it doesn’t mean that you hear the same things or that you focus on the same issues.

About the author

After having worked in Denmark with organizational development in the financial industry and with companies such as IBM and Motorola, my family moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1998 with a small startup. Several startups later, we still live here.

Without a work permit the first years of our life in the US, I went back to school to study psychology with a focus on cultural differences. I have since assisted numerous transfers, students, and au pairs with their transition in and out of the area and with their practical and emotional adjustment to the changed surroundings and expectations. 

Did I experience culture shock? Yes indeed. The egalitarian Scandinavian mindset is very different from highly competitive USA.

Did I get back to my old self after recovery? No, I got back to my new self. Where my old self was focused on processes and data analysis, my new self is more focused on the person in front of me. (I still like to know what the data says. In some contexts, to me numbers speak louder than words.) 

To all who have helped me in that transition, my heartfelt thanks. That is, by the way, part of the Silicon Valley culture: Pay it forward. So let me pass my experience on to you.

  • Charlotte Wittenkamp
  • BA Econ, MS Psych
  • charlotte@usdkexpats.org
  • Los Altos, CA, September 2017
  • About the Author
  • About the reader
  1. The Golden Circle
  2. What is culture?
  3. Values and Norms
  4. The Learning Curve
    1. The U-curve
    2. Value clash
    3. Going back
  5. Adapting - or not
    1. Assimilation
    2. Bi/Multi cultural
    3. Rejection
    4. Culture loss
  6. Don’t jump this chapter as much as you may want to
    1. Questionnaire confusion
    2. What does Statistical Mean mean?
    3. Variance
    4. What can you infer from knowing the mean?
    5. Correlations and Causality
  7. More about Values
    1. Schwartz’s Value theory
    2. Values according to Hofstede
  8. Other Models
    1. World Values Survey
    2. The Lewis Model
    3. Erin Meyer
    4. GlobeSmart
    5. Missing values
  9. Egalitarianism / Hierarchy / Patriarchy
    1. Status and Respect
  10. History
    1. The Protein Theory
    2. The Xenophobe Theory
    3. Rice / Wheat theory
    4. Imperialism/Colonialism
    5. Is this still relevant?
  11. Systems
    1. General legalities
    2. School Systems
    3. Taxes
    4. Public accounts
    5. Other Systems
  12. Blueprint of the World
  13. Communication
    1. Language
    2. Other Communication Pitfalls
    3. Communication Filters
  14. Concluding Comments
  • Appendix I: European Social Survey Value Questions
  • Appendix II: Additional Resources
  • Acknowledgements
  • Endnotes

Recognize that different cultures have different values and systems Learn how history has shaped cultural behaviors and norms Gain strategies for adapting to a new culture while living abroad Develop skills for effective communication across cultural differences

I enjoyed reading this book. It is a good mixture of the state of the art research about intercultural communication and of the author's personal experiences. Agreeable to read and full of practical advice.
this book is helping me to understand how to deal with different culture in an organization.
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Charlotte Wittenkamp