I often hear people asking how to manage or control their emotions. However, it is important to understand that emotions exist as they are and cannot be managed or controlled. The only control that we may have is over our response to emotions once they have formed. Rather than trying to manipulate or suppress our emotions, it is more helpful to focus on accepting and understanding them; and learning how to respond to them in a healthy and effective way.
Certain behaviors can trigger feelings of anger in people, depending on individual tolerance levels. In such cases, there is no use in telling you not to worry about something that is causing you concern. Have you ever been affected by someone telling you, “Forget it”, and your anger went away? I do not think so. This is your very natural emotion, “anger.” There is no such thing as “anger management.” Rather than trying to suppress or control your anger, it is more effective to accept and acknowledge the feeling and then focus on managing your response to it. If you try to push away or ignore your anger, you may end up wasting energy and potentially causing harm to yourself.
When something bothers us, we work to get rid of the discomfort that it causes as quickly as possible. This is true for some emotions as well. We adopt the wrong attitude of “This is an unpleasant situation for me right now. I need to get rid of this feeling,” which is erroneous. You cannot stop the emotion from forming, and you cannot fight against it.
Emotions play a significant role in our lives. To understand this, consider a movie where the actors do not convey any emotions. Would you be interested in watching such a film? Probably not, as you would not be able to connect with the characters and feel invested in the story. On the other hand, movies where the actors effectively express their emotions tend to be more engaging and immersive. You may even feel like you are a part of the movie because you are able to relate to the characters and their experiences.
That is exactly what emotion does. Emotions allow us to connect with and understand the world around us. Now, I want to tell you a little secret. There are no positive or negative emotions; rather, they are simply a natural part of the human experience. Considering the previous example, when we watch a movie, we may feel sad for the lead actor, but we do not necessarily view this as a negative thing. In fact, movies often use emotional scenes to create a deeper connection with the audience. This is because life is complex and cannot always be categorized as solely positive or negative. Emotions help us to process and make sense of our experiences, either good or bad.
Movies are not evaluated solely based on how much they make us smile or laugh. Similarly, our emotional experiences in life should not be judged based on whether they are either “positive” or “negative.” The range of emotions that a movie evokes – from deep sadness to extraordinary joy – is a sign of its effectiveness at connecting with the audience. In the same way, all emotions allow us to connect with others and communicate with the world around us. Whether the fact that emotion is considered “positive” or “negative” is subjective, every feeling has the potential to help us connect with others in some way.
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