Whatever you want to experience or achieve in life, you depend on other people—just as they depend on you, whether in your personal or professional life. The challenge lies in balancing self-care with what you give to others. The keys to find this balance are:
To be able to say “No” when asked to assist others
To ask relevant questions about your own goals and what others expect from you
Do you tend to always say “yes” to others? Those who are most helpful and quick to offer assistance are often the first people approached when help is needed again. This creates a natural, self-reinforcing cycle, as it’s much easier to ask someone who usually says “yes” than to approach those who previously lacked the opportunity, time, or willingness to help. And every time “Yes-people” act on a request, it will be more difficult to say no in future.
However, it’s not about being selfish or unhelpful—it’s about finding the balance that allows you enough time and space to care for yourself, meet your needs, and pursue your interests. You have the right to prioritize yourself—not just when you’re at the edge of your abilities. Reflect on the potential consequences of saying no to others’ requests, considering both the positive and negative outcomes of prioritizing your own needs. If necessary, ask whether the task can be postponed, changed or whether someone else can offer help instead.
You can expect reactions from those you turn down. However, their response might not be as negative as you think. When you explain your reasons, you may gain understanding and respect, as the initiator has likely faced similar situations themselves. Furthermore, others will remember you said “no” this time, so you won’t automatically be considered as a safe card for new tasks.
Keep in mind that you should be proud and content with what you do, perform, and deliver. Maybe you put more pressure on yourself than others and feel that you must do things even better and do even more. However, others likely think more about you and what you do than you realize. Be proud of yourself, you have good reasons to be!
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