Confidence isn’t about being loud and always knowing what to do - it’s about feeling able to handle whatever comes. It isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It comes and goes.
Some days it arrives early, steadying your hands in meetings, helping you speak up. Other days it’s harder to get a hold of - especially when you’re under pressure, doubting your value, or comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all figured out.
Lucy Gower, author of How to Have Confidence at Work, says one of the biggest factors is how you manage your ‘confidence bucket’. Here are five everyday habits that can help keep it topped up - and protect it from leaking out.
1. Understand what drains (and fills) your confidence
Start by noticing patterns. Are there certain meetings, people, or tasks that leave you second-guessing your abilities? And others that energise you? Keep a log of what you notice for a few weeks. Confidence is personal - what gives yours a boost might not work for someone else. Once you’re more self-aware, you’ll start spending more time in spaces that help you thrive.
2. Control your inner critic
That voice in your head isn’t always right. Especially when it starts spiralling after a small mistake or makes you feel like an impostor for asking reasonable questions. Acknowledge and then disrupt these negative streams of consciousness.
It’s not about putting the blinkers on. It’s just about swapping ‘I’m terrible at this’ with ‘I’m still learning.’ It sounds small, but reframing your self-talk makes a long-term difference.
3. Collect evidence
Confidence grows from memory, and we often remember our failures more vividly than our wins. So, keep a running list of things you’ve done well – speaking up, solving a tricky problem, supporting a teammate. Reread it when doubt creeps in. That’s your proof of what you have done and what you can do next.
4. Borrow confidence from others
Sometimes you need to lean on someone else’s belief in you. A mentor, a teammate, even a bit of old feedback can help. Just as others help fill your bucket, your encouragement can do the same for them.
5. Turn to movement
It sounds overstated, but physical movement can help a lot. Go for a short walk before a tough call, stand up to speak, or shake your shoulders loose if you’re feeling frozen. The body can trick the mind into feeling more present and grounded. You don’t need a Power Pose; you just need to stay grounded, limber, and present in your body.
Confidence isn’t a fixed state for anybody – it’s a work in progress. Even the most seasoned professionals have moments of doubt. What matters is how you recover. Be kind to yourself when you’re experiencing a dip, and remember: with a few regular habits, you can keep your confidence bucket filled and help others fill theirs too.
For more insight into building lasting confidence, check out Lucy Gower’s book: How to Have Confidence at Work.
