How to juggle kids and a career
Becoming a new parent comes with a lot of excitement a lot of change and a lot of questions. One common one being: What will happen to my career?
Bookboon author Nikolien Martina-Doorenbos is a working mother of two. While she was pregnant she planned to manage the coming addition to her family as she would manage any other project: taking into consideration time, money, and quality. She would make sure there would be a tight schedule and a clear structure, making no concessions to her ambitions, work, and social life, her personal time or relationship. Through trial and error, Martina-Doorenbos learned that a child couldn’t be managed like a work project. Becoming a parent would be a new challenge altogether.
After having her children, Martina-Doorenbos went from being a full-time salaried worker to a full-time entrepreneur/mother. Even with the profound shift in the way she worked, her ambitions didn’t change. What did change was the way she wanted to shape her ambitions. Martina-Doorenbos says one of the best ways to do this is by setting and respecting new boundaries.
Whether you work for someone else or yourself, setting and respecting boundaries ensures that you have enough time to be a parent to your children and to balance all the important things in your life. These boundaries can allow you to do all of this, while not short-changing yourself, your work, or your life.
Why is it so important to establish boundaries?
There are many reasons why having boundaries is good for you and for those around you.
Increase your self-esteem and self-confidence
You demonstrate to yourself and others that you trust your own feelings and abilities. You are
not led around by the needs of others and will not miss opportunities that are for you. Every
time you choose to respect your boundaries, you increase your confidence in yourself.
Create a positive self-image
You take responsibility for your health and it makes you less dependent on others. You start
from the idea that you are good enough and you do not have to prove anything.
Focus on your health
Not setting boundaries can lead you to take on more than you can handle and this will come at
the expense of your health. Your body will make it very clear when you have pushed it too far.
Articulate your identity
Your boundaries define the things that are important to you and what you stand for. If you
forget what values are important to you, you can delve into yourself to determine them and
how they can give shape to your life.
Gain respect from others
When you allow others to cross your boundaries, you are teaching them that not respecting
your boundaries is allowed. This will ensure that they will cross your boundaries in the future.
Usually people appreciate it when you establish boundaries, as it shows them exactly where
they stand when they are dealing with you.
This is a great place to start but there is more to boundaries than simply setting them. They have to be monitored and respected if you
want them to stay in place.